When Support goes wrong

Our life is a simple combination of the real, absurd and fake. Choosing from the options life throws at us is a serious dilemma we face daily and most times, it leaves us wondering why life is a continuous iteration of choices and choices. It is actually these choices that leaves us seeking for support and find us providing succor to friends, family, colleague, acquaintances and even strangers who come to us or we meet in the process of our sojourn.

Having to stand in the gap to help someone take a stand is not a mean feat and we can either make or mar the individual or the process. We have this attitude of pushing these men-tees of ours to shoot first and ask opinions later or in some other instances, allow them to wallow in too much self-pity or defeat or analysis of their condition such that when we now need them to move, they are too far gone to even understand us.

There was this situation I once found myself, I was been provided support, but because my support base was too 'understanding', I became too much of a cry baby and could not even decipher my right from my left. I became more like a vegetable, looking forward to the next session with my mentor. I was in such a situation that even when I was supposed to be doing and making changes, I was leaning forward for that support. Yes, I was searching for meaning in the other person, I was lost in the temporary peace being with that person or hearing from them gave to me. I longed for it, and I became a victim. Thank God that my mentor was not a manipulator for I would have just become a statistics.

You see, the situation painted above is actually one that we continue to meet either in our own lives or when we provide support. We must realize that as much as it is important to serve that junior colleague of yours, or your child as the case may be, you must also reach beyond yourself and draw the line between making the person solely dependent on you for existence. Yes it is true that at some point in everyone's life, we will have to require support whether at work, home, and school or even at the place of worship. Yet, we must understand that the only way urine can have direction is for us to provide one.

Do not ever make the mistake of becoming the reason another person lives or draws all their life inspiration. It is very beautiful and heartwarming to be in a position of control, but you must fight it, Yes, fight that urge to become God. Man is a source of strength to another, yet he must not become an idol. So whether you are a leader at work, home, cell group, class, society, always remember that when support goes wrong, lives are altered and destinies are ruined forever. Identify your base, search for the help you can offer, but always draw the line. Leave in others the ability to stand without you for that is when you give them the real life, and the actual support that they ever wanted.

Nugget: A king is as good as the least of his subjects. If they are weak, your kingdom will soon fall. Always lead others to find that source.