Love is not a Trade

Dear Friends,

Today we bring you our first Guest Writer. His message is apt but so thought provoking. In short, it's what you had call a paradigm shift. So why not sit back, relax and share in John Matu's 'Love is not a Trade'.
... JEEA


To most people love is associated with pain and hurt.This is was also true for me until I realized that love is not a trade. I just wish before you debunk me, you take a moment and listen or observe yourself when you think you love another person. Most at times, your action towards the person is directed so you receive a certain response or reciprocal behavior from the person; and when it is not reciprocated you either complain, attack or withdraw your own affection. What really is that, but a trade where you give and expect in return; or where you wait to receive, then you give.
Ironically again people say from experience I was once hurt so I will not give first and would be careful before I love. Well how about that? Can fear and love coexist? can you really love from your heart and be cautious? So when we say love hurts and it's painful, it is yes at a certain level of understanding because we thought love is a trade; so when we did not get what we thought was our due, we felt pain.

The most chronic one is when our love is addictive. What we fail to understand is that every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. So when you make another the centre of your world and you get addicted to his/her smile, presence and affection. When the person withdraws that, you begin to do everything to win them back, just remember it was an addiction not love. The person that left is not at fault, and it was your choice to get addicted to them.

So what is love really; a writer said love is our natural state and if you ask me, this is why no matter the several resolutions we make, we still find ourselves trying to love again or feeling despair, when we don't love or when we are not in a loving relationship.

Love really starts from you realizing what you are and what you are not. You are a spirit, you have a mind and you are living in a body. So you are not your mind but your mind is a tool for your spirit (the real you) expression. Your spirit needs nothing and it's complete in itself. So if you love from your spirit it will never be a trade, it will be pure empathy, compassion and kindness.

To love from your spirit; you must first realize that your Ego is at enmity with your spirit, and so that's why it always prescribe short term solutions and gives illusions of love which can be hurtful and painful. However if you take the effort to figure out how to love from a deeper level of yourself, it is a healing process for both you and the person you are loving. Your interactions will continue to heal both egos and your love will foster and extend to people around you.

If love is not working for you, stop! Stop believing all the definition of people who tried to love through their egos and got burnt or have resolved it is not possible. Take some time and figure out the real you, your spirit and from that deeper level begin to love and see the joy that you bring to your interactions with people.

Nugget: Love is the ultimate don't get it twisted!