Every once in our lives, we encounter those ups and down
that we want to just go away. These times when we are at the lowest ebb of our
existence are not interesting times. Our spirit is broken, our strength is
sapped, and we are just out of depth. This discourse is actually centered on
being through all these and still keeping up appearances. It leaves me wondering
- Why?
Well, it is not far-fetched, it might be necessary to smile
before your kids even when you are not sure what they will have for breakfast
the next morning. We may need to stay smiling for that colleague who is not a
very personal 'person' - indeed; we might want to remain positive for our relationship
that is in a storm; Keeping up
appearances for a failing business or one going through some troubling phase or
the other. Perhaps it is a marriage heading for the rocks and yet you must
pretend all is well to your kids, folks, friends and even 'foes'.
Why do we do this? I have asked again and only some thoughts
patterns stay constant; acceptance and self-delusion. Yes we want to feel
among, we want to save face, we just want to be accepted as among those who
have all the 'i's dotted and 'T's crossed. Okay, you don’t agree. Let's do a
little more introspection. Why do you think you want to reassure your child
that all is well, yes you want to protect their innocent and fragile hearts but
the key is that you have to keep the smile because you want to protect what was
important - it’s all about acceptance?
So is it totally a bad phenomenon or approach, not in all
cases. Yet we must find a means of separating what is worth smiling about and
those we must go on full disclosure to either get help or save ourselves the
shame we are so afraid of (Self Delusion). Here is an approach that you can try
out - stay smiling, but do not lie when it is not worth it. So who do you know it’s
worth it or not; that is personal and everyone knows this when they manage to
look away from just themselves. Yes it is tough, but sometimes a little shared
thought with your kid even when insufficient to make them see through what is
coming can help make the burden lighter. You must learn to let that load drop
somewhere - You are just human not some superman or woman.
Also, a short moment meditating and talking with our creator
and God can influence and produce wonders. The key here is going into one's
inner recesses not to build on the challenge but to have an undisguised and
truthful assessment of that challenge. But most importantly, while suffering,
ensure the smile is from a hopeful and working perspective and not just for the
show.
See, we may not have shown anything special here, yet one
has learnt that we must move in the direction of our fear to make progress. So
leave everything behind and fight for change that will keep your smile; yes
"those who sow in tears shall surely reap in joy". Again that is only
possible if our suffering is for a purpose. So stop smiling for the camera. If
you are of marriageable age and are still single, smile, but fit the puzzle
whether spiritual or those that has to do with your person.
Note that in this discussion, we have refrained from talking
of problems; rather I have made a constant reference to challenges. This is on
purpose, because it is not the weight of our challenges that is the issue, it
is actually our attitude that ensures the processing. So if you see challenges
like every exam is, you will have that consciousness to tackle the papers
because passing the hurdle takes you to a new level of endeavor. So take up the
smile challenge, for its effortless and also comes with facial rewards.
Finally, smile because it makes you awesome, yet work the work.
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