It was as though he planned and set himself up to fail. The more he worked hard, the more he fell short. It was not for want of effort or having the best laid-out plans. It was simply that everything was just an anti-climax - totally. And then the biggest of them all comes rushing at him; his love and concern for others seems to only reap pains, betrayals, and lies - it was all nails, booby traps and landmines. Ol Boy, GabF did not know if he was exhausted or frustrated or if he should be angry (at who even?). Hearing his thoughts, I knew it was not just from disappointment; he felt alone and prayed daily never to get into that part where he was overwhelmed and surrounded by just himself. It seemed so cold, and as he looked, he could see only pains and more pains.
He was drowning in a lot, and yet he knew this was not all about him nor the last of him - yet it was difficult to see beyond the mist in front of him. His voice was drained by the sound of many waters. He tried crying, but it was in the rain, yet a banner kept calling from afar. A desire for the ages to come, so intense, but yet he could not muster the strength to rally to the banner. His core was deflated, he thinks. How could a year with so much promise become so bleak? What happened?
And then the banner loomed larger - would it even be enough or just an opening to more pain, the yearning for a new year, a fresh start away from the transactional world he presently lives in and yet hope that is fickle for a fatigued GabF? Yet...all these pains are buoyed by illusions.
Nugget: "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all. He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken. Evil shall slay the wicked, And those who hate the righteous shall be condemned." Psalms 34:19-22 (NKJV)
No comments:
Post a Comment